Family?

Since the falling out with my sister we had not been on speaking terms. We saw each other at family events but that was about it. I still did not have much contact with the boys. I would call and check on them daily and make sure they were doing ok. She would text message me if there was ever a problem with them, other than that we did not talk. I had nothing to say to her. The summer of 2010 (four months before my wedding) she had called and said she was having some child support issues with the boys' dad. She asked if I would write a letter for her stating that I cared for the boys. I told her I would, for the sole fact that I had cared for them, for years! I told her specifically I would write a letter saying I cared for them until the end of 2006, after that is when Ben got in his accident and that is also when we had our falling out. She seemed ok with this. I knew that I had to sleep on this and take some time to think about what I would write. I knew I did not want to hand her something that she could then try to use against me (I did not trust her).

Before I could even wrap my head around what all was going on, I was contacted by the boys' father asking my why I had sent in a letter with false information on it. What the hell?! I told him to please send me the documents so I could look them over and better understand what he was talking about. When the letters arrived in the mail, I saw a childcare worksheet stating that I was a licensed daycare and that I had watched two out of the four boys for the whole year of 2007 and 2008. To the tune of fifteen thousand dollars. Yep, you read that right, $15,000! And it was signed by me. My name was forged and the writing on the paperwork was none other than my sister's. I had never felt so betrayed in my life. I contacted a lawyer and told her what had happened and that my name was forged. She said it would be in my best interest would to contact the court and file for fraud because they could turn me in for tax invasion because I had not claimed the fifteen thousand dollars that "I" said I received. I had also found out that a portion of the boys' child support had included money for childcare for quite some years even though the kids were teenagers now and never attended daycare, they were making my sister be accountable for the child support she was receiving and we believe that is why my name had been forged.

I called my mom to tell her what was happening. All my life my mom has been my number one support system, since my dad died it has just been me and her, we are always there for each other. Her reaction was "Oh, I don't want her to go to jail for this!" Wow, thanks Mom. I then called Rachel to tell her the newest crap my dumb sister was pulling. She told me that she received the same thing and that her name was forged for over twelve thousand dollars! (She also forged one of her old boyfriend's name as well as one of the boys' friends! Four people in total) I could not believe my sister had done this. This is unforgivable! I had a new home I was responsible for, I couldn't have tax invasion put on me! Rachel has a family she has to care for, she cannot have that either! What was she thinking?!? I talked this over with Ben, and we sent off all the information needed to prove that was not my signature and that my name was forged and I was not to be responsible for that money. The next thing I know, I got served papers to attend court regarding this issue. I had to answer some questions and have it put on record. I was not too happy to have to deal with all of this, especially because I was trying to put our wedding together!

August 5, 2010 a week or so before court was supposed to happen I had gotten a text message at eleven at night from one of the boys that my oldest nephew  had gotten into a fight and was at the hospital with a broken nose. I asked if he was ok and they said he needed to have stitches. I thought to myself that sounded weird because why would you need stitches for a broken nose? I started to call the other boys to figure out what was going on. I was told that he was in a fight and they think he had been stabbed. Yet again in my life, my heart sank. This is not my nephew, this is like my child! He is hurt and I am over a half hour away. Was he hurt bad? I couldn't believe what was happening and that I was going through something like this again. My friend drove me to the hospital, my nerves were getting the best of me and I didn't trust myself to drive that far.

When we arrived to the hospital I went straight to the emergency room. You could tell that his nose was broken and he had some scratches on him. I asked what happened and he said he was skateboarding with a friend and three guys came up to them and asked for money, they stole forty dollars and punched him in the face, breaking his nose. They then threw him in some sticker bushes. I asked if he got stabbed and he said "No, my leg just hurts because of the sticker bushes!" I ripped the hospital blanket off of him to see what looked to be three stab wounds on his leg, one on his hip and two others on the top of his leg. I also noticed his leg was abnormally swollen, bigger than I had ever seen it. My sister was in the emergency room too, with, you guessed it, a new boyfriend! She came in and looked at his leg, she went into one of her freak out sessions. I had asked her to please leave and compose herself. She walked out of the room, about ten minutes later, the friend who brought me to the hospital came in and told me she seen my sister and the new boyfriend doing drugs in the parking lot! Figures. The doctor had come in and said that those wounds were definitely stab wounds and that his leg, instead of bleeding out, was keeping all the blood inside and that is why his leg was so swollen. This would require surgery and was very serious.

After I got him calmed down, I left to go home, about three am. All that kept running through my head was "My baby was hurt, someone stabbed him and I wasn't there to protect him!" Surgery was scheduled for noon the next day. Almost thirty people including friends and family came to show him support. My mother, sister and the boys' dad were among some of those who came; awkward! Fortunately everyone put aside all the drama that was going on and just focused on the situation at hand. Surgery was almost two hours long, when the doctor came out to tell us how it went he had said that there were three stab wounds and that one of them had gone all the way to the bone! Because the wounds were so deep he inserted a tube into his leg to keep it open for draining. He had to stay in the hospital for a few days, the day he came home I went over to my sister's house so I could help care for him. I fought back and forth with myself about going over there, in the last four years or so I can count on one hand the times I had went there. I knew I had to put these feelings and fears aside because this was not about the relationship I have with my sister, this was about my nephew and he needed me.

I headed over in the morning, bringing food for all the kids and a Jamba Juice for him. He looked really uncomfortable, his leg seemed to not be as big as it was, but the wounds looked painful. I wanted to keep myself busy so I did not have to deal with my sister. Throughout the day she was in and out of the house, when she would be in the house longer than five minutes, she was drinking. I cleaned the house, did some cooking and folded laundry, helped him with a shower and get situated so he could get through the night without complications. After spending over eight hours there I had got ready to leave so I could go home and get some sleep so I could return the next morning. While walking to my car my sister followed me, she said she wanted to talk. I have been dealing with my sister and her addictions for many years, I have learned to deal with it and try not to let it affect me. This was the first time in my life I was scared, I was terrified of the way she was acting. She was raising her voice and getting in my personal space, telling me everything she didn't like about me and our family, almost everything out of her mouth were lies and half of the time she didn't even make sense. I knew I had to get in my car fast because I couldn't take much more. She said a lot of horrible things to me. "I didn't think you would even come to the hospital!", "Nobody helps me with the kids!". I had so much anger building up I felt like I was going to physically harm her. I got into my car and she threw her hand in my face with her pinky finger sticking out and said "You better pinky promise me that everything is fine between us!". She had lost her ever loving mind.

On my drive home I made a decision right there and then that I would never return to her house. I knew my nephew would be ok and if he wasn't I would come up with a plan B. I cried the whole way home...how did this get so bad? I thought long and hard about everything that had happened. I called the boys' dad and told him to go get his children out of her house, I did not feel like they were safe there, especially with her out of control behavior. He went to her home and was promptly arrested because she called the police on him and he happened to have a warrant out for his arrest. There went plan B! Court was to happen in a couple weeks, the day approached and my nerves were through the rough! The judge and me had talked before hand off the record about everything that was going on, she made me feel like everything would be ok and to just be myself and speak the truth. When it came time for the judge to ask me questions, every time I would answer something, my sister would say "Bull Shit!" She got reprimanded for speaking out of turn. I spoke the truth and did everything I was asked to. Court was over, I was relieved but nervous because I knew there would be repercussions. A few hours later I got a voice message from my sister saying "I am glad all that is over with, I hope there are no hard feelings between us." I vowed to never speak to her again.

My nephew did make a full recovery, he had to walk with a cane for a short while, but now walks without complications, some scarring is all that remains. My sister was held responsible for the child support she had wrongfully been getting and has to pay back that money to the boys' father, whom no longer has to make child support payments to her. However charges have not been pressed for the forging she allegedly did. She has since sold my fathers house (not giving me the chance to gather any belongings of his that still remained there) and has recently married the boyfriend I met at the emergency room. I wish her well in her life as I know that when karma comes knocking on her door she will pay for all the wrong she has done.

I have not spoken to her since October 3, 2010. Now you know why I chose not to invite her to my bridal shower or have anything to do with the wedding. However the consequences of that were the way she treated me during the most special day of my life. I have seen her at three family functions, all of which she made sure to make me feel unwelcome and uncomfortable. Things had gotten so bad that my family is now scared to be on her bad side, they don't want the children held over their head, they struggle every day to appease her and do whatever they can to make her happy.  During the Christmas holidays my mom told me she did not want me to come to her home while the boys were there because it would make my sister mad. My brother did not want me to come to Christmas dinner because they were afraid of upsetting her. I spent the holidays with my husband, by ourselves. My mom did not speak to me for months on end. I have never in my life felt so alone and abandoned. My husband has been there every step of the way, listening to me when I cry, hugging me when I need it and giving me the strength to put this behind me and move on. My mother had some health issues so I tried to regain whatever relationship I could with her, so I could be there in her time of need; after all, she is the only parent I have. As I write this, I don't know where I stand with my family. I don't know if we will ever go back to "normal", and after all this hurt they have put me through, that is not what I think I want anymore.

It has been a long journey, but I am content living my life with my husband by my side. We are our own family!

My sister

*If you or someone you know is suffering from addiction, please get help*