The lawyer came to meet with us, Ben did not do much talking, as it was taking a lot out of him to even sit at the table and hold a conversation. We were told that in the state of Washington if someone rear ends you, it is their fault. We already knew that it was the other person's fault, because he was driving a commercial truck, this made for a case that was worth fighting. We had no idea what was about to come or how grueling this process would be. We did not pay much attention to what filing a lawsuit entailed as we had other things to worry about. The first couple weeks home we spent going back and forth to the doctor's office. They were checking on his wound as well as his heart rate. His heart rate was still a lot higher than it should be, after maintaining a high heart rate during every doctor's appointment we went to, they figured out that he was having anxiety and that he was working himself up before going to an appointment, so therefore when they checked him, his heart rate would always be higher than normal! It also did not help that every time we had to drive to the doctor's, we would have to drive by the scene of the accident, because it was on the way. The doctor was worried about blood supply going to his arm and told us to watch it for the next six weeks, if there were to be any color change to his arm, we could face amputation. I asked the doctor "What is the worse thing that could happen?" He responded with "He could die." I loved the fact that the doctor was blunt and didn't shoot around the bush, but this was hard to hear and extremely scary!
The six weeks had passed and we did not notice any color change or loss of circulation. They removed the staples and started him with physical therapy. Therapy was really hard for him to endure, very painful, but at least we were getting some movement in his arm; after all they told us he would never use it again. The specialist advised Ben to take six months off of work, he was not even allowed to drive until the three month mark! Unfortunately his place of employment only allowed three months time off of work, for any reason, after that point they could terminate. We could not afford for him to lose his job, we had thousands of dollars worth of medical bills coming in! *Side note- Ben had medical through his job, a few weeks before his accident, we decided to cancel his insurance so we could have some more money to save for the holidays. When they tell you never to cancel your medical because something could happen...they are right! Lesson learned.* The doctor released him to work early so he could stay employed, but told him to take it easy, because he was not healed all the way yet. This was hard for Ben to get back into a car (which we had to hurry and buy one, because obviously his old one was totaled). You are supposed to "Jump back onto the horse after you fall" because he was unable to drive for so many months, it made this process a lot harder for him. Not only did he have to go back to work full time, he had to endure three days a week of physical therapy, he would go to therapy before work, go through all that pain and then have to turn around and put in a fulls day work. How he did this is beyond me, he has truly shown me what a true hero looks like. While he went back to work, I tried to get our home life back to normal as much as I could. Because we filled a lawsuit against the other driver, we were now having to deal with this lawyer every single day of the week. This took many hours and was like a full time job for me. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into, but knew I had no other choice but to learn.
During this time, I had a really big decision thrown my way. I knew Ben needed my full undivided attention and help, but what about the boys? How would I have enough time and strength to care for all these people, let alone find time for myself? At the time I felt like there was no way to choose between them, they all mean so much to me. My heart led me to Ben; he needed me just as much as I needed him. I had dedicated so many years to the boys at this point, they were old enough to start caring for themselves. I needed to let go and finally take the step in my life to move on and worry about what was most important, Ben and I. This was very hard but I knew it had to be done. I went to every single physical therpay appointment, packed his lunch and sent him off to work, then turned around and spent six to eight hours a day either on the phone, sending emails or snail mail dealing with this lawsuit.
We did not have very much support from our family and friends. A wise woman once said to me "People are there for you when things are going good in your life, sometimes it's too much for them to be there when things go bad." How sad but true was that. We ended up learning who our true friends were during this time, and whom we wanted to keep in our lives. I was not too happy to be learning this life lesson at the time, but why not get it all done at once, right? To not bore you with all the details, I will fast forward a bit. During physical therapy Ben had been complaining about his arm hurting. We thought this wasn't anything out of the ordinary considering his arm hurts every single day and is expected to for the rest of his life. He continues complaining day after day. The therapist suggested making a doctors appointment and that maybe we should get an xray to make sure everything was ok. Off to the doctor's we went, after the xray the specialist walked in and said "We need to schedule you for an emergency surgery!" Here we go again. He said that Ben's body was rejecting the steel plate and screws and that they needed to come out immediately. We scheduled the surgery for the next week so we could get some things in order and for him to get the time off work. At this point it had been a little over a year since the accident. We were not ready to go through this again, but knew we had no choice.
Recovery was not nearly as bad as the first time around. His bones had healed as best as they were going to, they chose not to replace the plate or screws, but to see how his arm did on its own. He had to be extremely careful with his arm in the mean time!We were afraid of a re-brake and God for bid, another dislocation. He endured yet more rounds of physical therapy, although still painful he was gaining a little bit of movement in his arm, but it was clear it would never go back to the way it was. This was very hard for Ben to come to terms with. We could tell that this whole experience was taking a toll on him, he was in the dumps and I knew getting through each day was a constant struggle. He was eventually diagnose with PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, if you have not heard of this, please take a minute and look it up. Many people suffer from this and it can really take over your life, if you have a loved one or know someone who deals with this on a daily basis, remember to reassure them that they are ok and doing a good job, and that you love them everyday. I remind Ben all the time how lucky I am to still have him here on this beautiful earth with me. I am the lucky one...for I get to live every day amongst a hero.
"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles."
Christopher Reeve
Christopher Reeve
0 comments:
Post a Comment