The Day That Changed My Life

A few weeks had passed since our eventful vacation to the ocean. My sister had cut all communication off with our family and most importantly would not allow the boys to talk to or see us. I tried to just go over to her house to see the kids and check on them, a few blocks before I got there, one of the boys called and said that I shouldn't come over because their mom was going to call the police on me. I could have cared less if she got the cops involved because they would have taken her away way before they did anything to me, but I did not want to cause drama for the kids and put them through that. Because of this, I took a step back and made the decision to distance myself from their home. I still checked on them as often as I could, but this was the hardest thing I had ever had to do in my life. Thus far...

October 23, 2006-
It was a Monday, the sun was out and everything was going normal, just like any other day. Ben (My husband) headed out the door to leave for work, I was on my way to Target to get some Halloween shopping done. As I was on my way to the store, my cellphone rang, I saw that it was Ben calling (It was rare for him to call on his way to work) I answered the phone and there was a lady on the other end. She asked for "Princess" (That is what I am under in his phone, how cute huh?) this made me laugh because it was weird that some lady was calling from his phone and asking for Princess. The next thing she said would be forever engraved into my head, as this was the moment our lives changed forever.

"My name is Gloria, I am a nurse and I am sitting on the side of the freeway with Ben, he has been in a car accident."

My heart stopped. I asked if he was okay and she said that he had hurt his arm really bad but that he was conscious. She then asked if I wanted to talk to him. Ben got on the phone and I asked him if he was okay and what had happened. He was clearly in shock and all he said to me was "Babe, my car flipped over!" He would repeat this over and over and over again. I told him everything was ok and that I was on my way to see him. I had pulled over in the mean time (I was about 10 minutes from home) I have lived in this area my whole entire life. I knew that I needed gas before I drove to see him (He was over a half hour away). All of a sudden I didn't recognize where I was at! I couldn't remember how to get to the local gas station or where the freeway was located! Was I in shock too?? I also did not know which hospital they would be taking him to. I started driving around until something looked familiar to me. As I was driving I had called Washington State Patrol and had asked them if they knew where the ambulance would be taking him. They told me Harbor View (Which is a trauma hospital in our area) I knew this could not be good if they were taking him there. In the mean time I pulled into a gas station and filled up the tank. I had called a friend of mine, who told me that they saw it on the news and it didn't look good. While I was getting gas the paramedic had called me told me they were not taking him to Harbor View, but a different hospital that was closer to where they were. (I later found out that Ben had been telling them to call me!). My house was only a couple minutes from the gas station and I thought that I should stop by to get some clothes and what not because I didn't know how long we would be at the hospital. I jumped out of my car and went to go into the house, to realize I had locked my keys in the car!!

Luckily I had my cell phone on me as I had been talking on it. Feeling like I had no options, I called my sister to see if she could give me a ride to the hospital. She would not answer my call!! I called my mother and my sisters best friend and told them what was going on and that I didn't know what to do. They called and told my sister to answer the phone, which she did, and soon came to pick me up. This was the most awkward car ride I had ever been in! I also did not care what she felt towards me at that time as I had more important things to worry about. On the way to the hospital we had to drive by the scene of the accident. It did not look promising. We arrived to the hospital and I ran to the emergency room. I went to the front desk and asked where he was, they said only friends and family could see him and who I was, I responded with "his girlfriend" (I would later regret this!). They led me to a room he was in. I had prepared myself to expect for him not to look good, for there to be lots of blood, but I was going to be strong! I walked in and saw him, he didn't look bad! He had some dirt all over his face and clothes and he most definitely looked to be in shock and uncomfortable but he didn't look half as bad as I thought. I asked him what had happened and he told me that a eighteen wheeler semi truck had rear ended him and his car flipped over on the freeway! WHAT?!? I had no idea it was that bad! He said that his arm hurt really bad and that he was scared.

The doctor came in and administered pain medicine because his body was going into shock. I overheard them saying that they were going to have to call in a specialist because something was wrong with his arm. They did a CT scan and xrays and now we were just waiting for the results. When they returned with the xray they had said that his humerus bone had a spiral fracture and that his shoulder was dislocated as well as the head of his shoulder was crushed. This would require surgery but they would have to do it in the morning. Meanwhile a police officer had come into the room to check on him, he leaned down and whispered to Ben "You are one lucky guy, someone was watching over you!". They sent him to a room so he could get some rest, the next day was going to be hard on him. My sister headed home and Ben's best friend had came to see how he was doing. While we were visiting, Ben kept saying that he felt something weird in his pants. I helped to remove them to find glass from the windshield in his pants along with a bruise across his stomach the size of a basketball. I knew that he was hurt more than what we had thought.

When the semi hit him, the momentum flipped his car over onto the drivers side and skid down the freeway as the semi truck jackknifed, when the vehicle had fell onto its side the left side of his body took the brunt of the impact crushing his left arm. The bruising came from the steering wheel as well as a metal badge he had on his waist (for work) that had bent in half due to the impact. A man had to pry the door open to get him out, they were worried the car was on fire because there was smoke coming from the air bag being deployed. The nurse who had called me, had sat with him on a guard rail waiting for help to arrive, she went to his car to retrieve his cell phone and that is how she was able to contact me. No one remembers seeing this lady or where she came from. I am thankful he had her by his side, call her an angel if you want or maybe just a case of the right time at the right place, either way we are thankful for her.

The next morning the specialist came in and said the surgery would be starting shortly, this was a necessity, if they did not get this done, his arm might not survive. The doctor told me to wait in the waiting room and that surgery would take around two hours, if it went longer or something were to happen they would come get me. As Ben was getting prepared, the doctor rushed to me and said that I might want to come to the pre-op room because be was in shock and his heart rate was dangerously high, they were worried he might have a heart attack, or worse, not make it through surgery. Right then and there, felt like my whole world had stopped. I had been in a relationship with Ben for six years, I loved him, more than anything. In this moment for the first time in my life, I knew what true love really felt like. I was in love with him and couldn't picture my life without him in it. I went into the pre-op room, there were many people crowded around him, they were hooking him up to machines and his heart rate was sky rocketing. The funny thing is, with all the chaos going on, Ben was so peaceful looking, he didn't look in pain anymore, he just looked tired and wore out. I tried to tell him I loved him but he didn't seem to notice I was in the room. I thought this might be the last time I saw him. I began to sob and the doctor asked me to leave.

During his surgery I knew I had some time to waste. I did not want to sit around and let me nerves get the best of me. They had towed his car to a tow yard that was only a couple miles from the hospital. I headed there so I could bring home his personal belongings. If something did happen to him, I wanted to be able to have this stuff. As I got there, the tow guy came up to me and said he was sorry for my loss, I told him that he was still alive and that he was in surgery! They were astonished that he had survived at all. They took me to his car...my heart stopped. How did he survive this? The trunk was all the way smashed, pushing against the back seat, all the windows and the windshield were shattered, the drivers seat was broken and the air bag had gone off. The drivers door could not open so the tow guy ripped it open for me. I was able to get somethings and put them in a box, but other things were either broken or too hard to get out. It broke my heart to pieces knowing what he must have gone through.

I headed back to the hospital. Five and a half hours later his surgery was done. The doctor came to the waiting room and told me that it had not gone well. His shoulder was dislocated so bad that it took two full grown men over two hours to put it back into place, they had to put a steel plate and screws into his arm to hold it together and that they believed he would no longer be able to use his arm. We would be lucky if the arm survived. At this point I just wanted them to take his arm off! I just wanted him to be okay, we can live without an arm! I can't live without him! The doctor also told me that Ben did not know the extent of his injuries, they were afraid it would be too much for him to hear at the time. After he recovered I got to see him, he looked better, but in a ton of pain. I was told that I could not stay in the room with him over night because we were not married. You have got to be kidding me! I wish I would have just lied and said I was his wife when I arrived at the hospital. They allowed me to stay until midnight and that I could come back at 6am. I grabbed a blanket and slept on the floor next to a soda machine to kill time until I could go back. I felt so bad that I could not be there by his side, I felt helpless. He had a rough night, but they were going to let him go home the next afternoon. Before we got checked out, they unwrapped his arm to instruct me how to care for it. Nineteen staples were holding his incision together. This shocked him that his wound was so big, he did not take this well, it was sinking in what had happened to him. We headed home, I wanted more than anything to get things back to "normal" I realized that there was no "normal" anymore and that we would have to make a new life for ourselves. I wish I would have known that this journey was going to be the most daunting, exhausting, emotionally stressful thing either one of us were ever going to have to go through...