The Beginning

My mother was thirty five when she gave birth to me. She already had two children from a previous marriage. My brother was fourteen and my sister twelve when I was born. My father was forty nine, as he was getting ready to retire he decided he wanted to have one more baby, and so they made me! My father also had two previous children from his first marriage, I have never met his kids although I have put much effort into finding them. I always think about having siblings out there that I know nothing about or what they look like. They did not have a good relationship with my dad and he did not have much communication with them, so I understand why it would be awkward for them to want a relationship with me, but I still tried.

I was 6lbs 8oz when I was born. Hair that stood up on end...and lots of it! My brother and sister had a hard time welcoming me into the world, my mom raised them as a single parent for many years. They were not fond of the idea of my mom re marring and having another child. My father also had some concerns coming into a "ready made family" and having to deal with the difficulties that came into that. Although my brother dealt with the changes, my sister on the other hand had a harder time. She was very jealous at time, my mom was concerned as my sister was showing so much hatred to an infant, we were not left alone together very often.

My father built us a house to live in, beautiful! The white picket fence house and Leave it to Beaver family that everyone always pictures for their future. To the world we were the epitome of a wonderfully blended family. On the inside though, my dad was an alcoholic who found it harder and harder to mix myself and his wife along with the other two children who were not very fond of him. When I was two my parents divorced. Although I would have loved nothing more than to grow up with both of my parents under the same roof, I have mixed feelings on this issue. It really never bothered me to have divorced parents, I did not know any different, I had thought that every kid had a Mom's house and a Dad's house. Now as an adult, I believe that you should not stay in a marriage because you think it is the best for the kids. I have seen parents divorce when their kids are older or even adults and see how much harder it is on the family. My mom did as best she could raising us three kids as a single parent and I will forever be thankful for her.

Growing up with older parents and a big age difference between me and my siblings proved to be very difficult through the years...