Goodbye Twenties

Well, there it went. My twenties. Faster than I could have ever imagined. I have been asked a lot over the last few weeks how I feel about welcoming my 30's. And you know what? I gladly accept them with open arms! Don't get me wrong, I am not happy about my accumulating gray hairs and the occasional hot flash, but I am overwhelmingly happy to kiss my 20's goodbye. These last ten years have been pretty hard on me.

• At 22 my husband almost lost his life in a near-fatal car accident. 
• We spent the next 29 months dealing with two surgeries, months of physical therapy, court, mediation, depositions, and unbelievable amounts of paperwork regarding his accident. 
• At 25 the anguish was over and a settlement was reached. 
• That same year we began the building process of our new-construction home and moved in at the end of 2009.
  
• The following year at age 26, we tied the knot!
  
• At the same exact time, my sister tore our family apart.
• Age 28 I began my freelance writing venture and felt like I was finally able to financially contribute to our household. 

In between those years, we lost a lot of loved ones. Including my beloved Uncle Jim and Grandpa. There were also many deaths that we encountered that will forever leave a footprint on our hearts. Losing friends at such a young age and to an unwarranted tragedy, is never easy to understand. Anthony and Brandyn are forever in our thoughts. We also sadly lost my cousin Sunshine to a car accident the night before Thanksgiving. Cancer diagnoses were frequent throughout the years and remain to be something that we struggle with.  

Anthony

Death aside, we also "lost" many friends and family at our own choosing. We finally reached a point in our lives when we decided to rid of negativity and toxic people. When you encounter something tragic in your life (such as his car accident) you often realize who is truly on your side. We sadly saw the true colors of many around us. 

I watched my good friend struggle each day to take a breath and miraculously witnessed her receive two new lungs. Her struggle has inspired many and has empowered me to be a better person and to appreciate what little life we have here on Earth. My heart aches a deep pain as I watch her suffer through the dire rejection process of her transplant. 

My niece got diagnosed with a debilitating disease that will affect her for a lifetime. Even this wasn't enough to bring our family back together. It has been four years since I have been welcomed at the dinner table for birthdays or holidays due to my sister's lewd acts and behavior. My nephews that I once raised, are now distant memories that I clench onto when the pain and frustration becomes too much to bare.   

So here I am...thirty years old. I am still trying to find myself, but am proud at the progress I have made over the years. I have learned to stand up for myself, speak my mind and value my self worth. I have lost and kept off over 50 lbs and continue to tackle this battle of weight and eating better. I wanted to be married, in a home with kids by the time I was 25. Two out of three isn't bad, right? Who knows what the next 10 years have to offer...Anything has to be better than what I have already been through. I am ready and excited for this next chapter of my life.

Be good to me.