Goodbye Twenties

Well, there it went. My twenties. Faster than I could have ever imagined. I have been asked a lot over the last few weeks how I feel about welcoming my 30's. And you know what? I gladly accept them with open arms! Don't get me wrong, I am not happy about my accumulating gray hairs and the occasional hot flash, but I am overwhelmingly happy to kiss my 20's goodbye. These last ten years have been pretty hard on me.

• At 22 my husband almost lost his life in a near-fatal car accident. 
• We spent the next 29 months dealing with two surgeries, months of physical therapy, court, mediation, depositions, and unbelievable amounts of paperwork regarding his accident. 
• At 25 the anguish was over and a settlement was reached. 
• That same year we began the building process of our new-construction home and moved in at the end of 2009.
  
• The following year at age 26, we tied the knot!
  
• At the same exact time, my sister tore our family apart.
• Age 28 I began my freelance writing venture and felt like I was finally able to financially contribute to our household. 

In between those years, we lost a lot of loved ones. Including my beloved Uncle Jim and Grandpa. There were also many deaths that we encountered that will forever leave a footprint on our hearts. Losing friends at such a young age and to an unwarranted tragedy, is never easy to understand. Anthony and Brandyn are forever in our thoughts. We also sadly lost my cousin Sunshine to a car accident the night before Thanksgiving. Cancer diagnoses were frequent throughout the years and remain to be something that we struggle with.  

Anthony

Death aside, we also "lost" many friends and family at our own choosing. We finally reached a point in our lives when we decided to rid of negativity and toxic people. When you encounter something tragic in your life (such as his car accident) you often realize who is truly on your side. We sadly saw the true colors of many around us. 

I watched my good friend struggle each day to take a breath and miraculously witnessed her receive two new lungs. Her struggle has inspired many and has empowered me to be a better person and to appreciate what little life we have here on Earth. My heart aches a deep pain as I watch her suffer through the dire rejection process of her transplant. 

My niece got diagnosed with a debilitating disease that will affect her for a lifetime. Even this wasn't enough to bring our family back together. It has been four years since I have been welcomed at the dinner table for birthdays or holidays due to my sister's lewd acts and behavior. My nephews that I once raised, are now distant memories that I clench onto when the pain and frustration becomes too much to bare.   

So here I am...thirty years old. I am still trying to find myself, but am proud at the progress I have made over the years. I have learned to stand up for myself, speak my mind and value my self worth. I have lost and kept off over 50 lbs and continue to tackle this battle of weight and eating better. I wanted to be married, in a home with kids by the time I was 25. Two out of three isn't bad, right? Who knows what the next 10 years have to offer...Anything has to be better than what I have already been through. I am ready and excited for this next chapter of my life.

Be good to me.

Too Sensitive

"Too sensitive". If I had a penny for every time I had that one throw my way, I would sure be rich. I let those two little words get the best of me. Do I cry too often or take things too personally? Maybe I do overreact at times and blow things out of proportion. Does this make me a bad person? Is this a personality trait that many people are not fond of? Has this cost me friendships and situations that could have been prevented? I was starting to let the word "sensitive" define who I was as a person. And then I stumbled upon this article...

16 Habits of Highly Sensitive People

1. They feel deeply.

2. They're more emotionally reactive. 

3. They are probably used to hearing, "Don't take things so personally" and "Why are you so sensitive?"

4. They prefer to exercise solo. 

5. It takes longer for them to make decisions. 

6. And on that note, they are more upset if they make a "bad" or "wrong" decision. 

7. They're extremely detail-oriented. 

8. Not all highly sensitive people are introverts.

9. They work well in team environments. 

10. They're more prone to anxiety or depression. (but only if they've had a lot of past negative experiences).

11. That annoying sound is probably significantly more annoying to a sensitive person. 

12. Violent movies are the worst.

13. They cry more easily.

14. They have above-average manners. 

15. The effects of criticism are especially amplified in highly sensitive people. 

16. Cubicles= good. Open-office plans=bad. 

Well, that just cleared up any confusion I may have had! Clearly I am a highly sensitive person. Minus number 4, considering that I never exercise. You can read the entire article here. And you know what? I no longer give a shit if I am "too sensitive". I would much rather be a caring person with a big heart than someone who is cold without a kind bone in their body. So those of you that think I am too dramatic or overly sensitive, kindly go fuck yourself. :) 

Grieving Mom

The other night while watching Couples Therapy, (Don't judge me, I love my reality TV shows) I had a moment of clarity.  The therapist had said the following statement to one of the celebrities..."You need to grieve the loss of your mom that you wished that she was because she's never going to be that mom.". Wow. That hit a little close to home. She was right! I need to grieve the loss of the mom I wish my mom would be. I now realize that she does not have the capability to do so. It's not right, and it's not fair, but it's reality. Clarity! I think I have finally found it.

Five Guys

Fries, fries and more fries! Have you ever eaten at Five Guys? If not, drop whatever you are doing and run there! You will not spend more than twenty dollars (for two!) and will walk away feeling full with a smile on your face. The burgers are fresh (you get to pick the toppings you want!) and the fries are breathtaking. The best part is that when they place a heaping cup of fries into your bag, they then continue to dump an entire scoop of additional fries on top! HALLELUJAH.

You may be puzzled at what to do with all those extra fries at the bottom of your bag? Well, hold tight my dear readers because I have a great solution for you!

COVER THEM WITH CHEESE AND BACON. THEN PROCEED TO DIP THEM IN RANCH.

Yep, that's bacon sprinkled on top!

Move over Outback Steakhouse, there is a new smothered cheese fry in town. 

(seriously comparable)

*This was not a paid review*