Wordless Wednesday

Camano Island 09.10.11

Feeling lost

I have a lot of unanswered questions, my mind races every waking moment and I feel as though I am fighting a battle with myself. In life you make choices, along with those choices come consequences. It has been a little over one month since ending some friendships. I knew this process would not be easy, but I had no clue I would feel so much doubt and concern. We were in a wedding this last weekend, some of these friends that we had distance ourselves from had shown up to show their support for the couple. You could feel the glares coming my way, feeling like it was ripping through my skin and tearing me apart. I am forever grateful they did not hurt me with words, but the awkwardness and blatantly making us feel uncomfortable was harder for me to deal with that I had thought. Why do I let it bother me so? I was extremely proud of myself of how strong I was, keeping a smile on my face the whole time, even though inside I was crumbling. I was able to keep my cool and try my hardest not to let too many things bother me. I think I did an outstanding job. When the night had come and it was time for us to leave...everything hit my like a ton of bricks. It was very unsettling to have people dissect you with their eyes, people whom you have been friends with for over a decade! Did they not try to talk to us because they have no regard for our friendship {or lack there of}, or were they scared to say anything to us? Does it really matter to me at all what the answer to that question is? Maybe this is all weighing heavy on my mind because we just saw them and now the wound is freshly opened, maybe as time goes on I will have the tools to yet again brush this aside, put it in my past and move on. Right now I just feel as though the speed bumps are slowing me down and all I want to do is continue down the road to find myself.

S'mores Cookies

I wish I could claim this as my own idea! I found this recipe and decided to try it out, surprise the husband with a nice treat when he came home from work. They turned out amazing! Sooo yummy and easy to make!

11 Tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
1 cup brown sugar, packed
½ cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
2 ½ cups flour
1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 cup mini marshmallows
3 regular sized Hershey’s bars, broken into pieces
1-2 packages graham crackers, broken into squares

Directions:
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Line baking pan with parchment paper.

Lay out graham crackers side by side on the pan as close as possible (they should be touching).

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, sea salt and cinnamon to combine. Set aside.

In the bowl of an electric mixer, cream butter with white and brown sugar until light and fluffy. Add the eggs and vanilla and mix until combined.

Add the flour mixture to the butter mixer and combine on low speed.

Fold in the chocolate chips and marshmallows. Chill dough in refrigerator for 1 hour.

Place tablespoons of dough on graham crackers, press down lightly with fingertips.

   Bake for 5 minutes then remove from oven to press Hershey’s bar pieces on to the top. {I added another marshmallow on top just for fun!}

Bake for 5 – 7 more minutes or until dough is beginning to turn golden brown at the edges. Remove to a wire rack to cool. For clean cutting make sure cookies are completely cool and cut with a sharp knife.

Mmmmmm!

September 11, 2011

September eleventh two thousand one is a day many of us will never forget; it feels as though it all happened yesterday. One day I hope to visit New York and see the amazing memorial they have made. Washington state was fortunate to receive pieces of steel from ground zero, one of those pieces was given to a firehouse located eight miles from our house. The husband and myself went to the unveiling yesterday. Words cannot express the emotions I had. I was angry that this event had happened in the first place, but at the same time I was thankful that we had the privilege of seeing and touching this artifact, it felt as though after ten years we finally had some closure.

As I was kneeling down to take a photo, a little boy {six or seven years old} had asked me "Where is this from?" I told him it was from the World Trade Center in New York. He then asked "Did all the buildings fall down?" I told him that yes, indeed a few buildings had fallen down, but not all of them. His next question was "And it squished all the people?" As I hung my head I responded "Yes, it did." As he walked away from me with the look of sorrow on his face it took everything I had to hold back my tears.

"There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go."